Today I completely left the city that used to be my home for three years. Anything that might be left behind is finder's keepers or garbage. I'm not coming back. "Enjoy our house, please take care of her", I said before I closed the door without no longer having the key to it. I loved that house and I will always miss it. As I walked towards the city centre I didn't look back once. It was cold and raining slightly. My iPod ran out of battery in the middle of Sufjan Stevens. The tunnel between Bitts Park and the city council had lots of spider web hanging from the sealing. Almost as though the city hadn't cared about taking care of itself since I moved out more than a month ago. It seemed sad and a little ashamed. As if windows and lamp-posts and traffic signals all said "Goodbye, Stina. It was nice knowing you. Please don't feel too bad about us". I thought about how young and scared I was when I first came here and how much older I feel now when I'm actually leaving it. My thoughts used to revolve around getting used to Carlisle, being stuck in Carlisle, dreaming of getting out of Carlisle. And now I am there. Carlisle is over. I have no hard feelings.
2 comments:
Vemodigt och vackert. Jag blev glad när jag läste det. Det känns att du har utvecklats nåt enormt på de här åren.
Reading this post just made me very very sad :( Can't believe how much I miss Carlisle.
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