great ocean road.

This is another trip I made recently with my friends. We went west from Melbourne and out to the Great Ocean Road, which is an amazing road to take. We stopped by in Apollo Bay, Torquay, Wye River and Lorne. Along the way we saw wallabies, an echidna, a koala and penguins.

grrr.

the unthreatening velociraptor.

owl.

I just drew this. It took me the entire length of Hot Tub Time Machine to draw, plus some additional Photoshop stuff. Some dude told me that animals are soooo in right now, and especially owls. Well, I don't know... They kind of freak me out. Mainly because I saw this trailer. Freaky stuff.

yo, queensland!

To all my fans, friends and pathetic ex-boyfriends out there who follow my blog; please except my apology for the lack of postings lately. I have been out of town, Queensland to be more precise, doing some travelling with my family who decided to go across the globe to see me.

Three weeks went really fast. After a few freezing days in Melbourne we caught a plane to Brisbane. Our hopes of sun were slightly smashed when we arrived to yet another cold and rainy city. It got better though. After a few days in a camper van, heading north, we had a bit of warmth and semi-summer temperatures. First we arrived in Noosa Heads, which was a pretty sweet spot. I would have enjoyed it more though if it wasn't for suffering from a bad hit to the head while pulling down the loft bed in the camper van. I guess I'm only averagely clever now.
Moving on, we went to some other wicked places like Hervey Bay and Fraser Island, where we saw some cool wild animals, such as dolphins, iguanas and dingoes. I swear I also saw a vampire in Maryborough, but nobody believed me. Fraser was a really cool place. It had super cold lakes which I did not swim in, a rain forest, massive beaches, wicked sand dunes, a super fresh creek and a shipwreck. Oh, and the guide told us 19 types of snakes lived on the island, of which only four were non-venomous. The red belly snake, the brown snake and inland tipan... Oh, great! That's only like the most dangerous animals on the planet. Awesome. That stopped me from randomly walking into the forrest.
Living in a simple van for two weeks was amazing. You have no idea what a relief it is to not be able to use Internet and not giving a damn if you smell bad. I could easily have gone on like that for a year. No problem. Maybe I should actually do that sometime. Or perhaps I would have made a really good hippie back in the 60's. Staying at various camper parks was an interesting experience also. I'm 24 years old but nobody has ever guessed my age right. Ever. This came very handy when the camping park entry fee was per person and based on wheither you were adult or child. One day I'd be paying as an adult of 24 years, the other I'd be going as a child of 16 years, at one point I was the 15 year old twin sister to my 17 year old brother and other days me and aforementioned brother didn't even exist and had to hide in the back of the van when the camper park owners cruised around the premises. I aged backwards and constantly impressed strangers with my amazing English skills and rug-sack of experience for my "young years". By the end of the trip our parents listed me as 18 whenever we had to enter a park or attraction. That still made me go as a full paying adult, but I guess it just made more sense to everyone, like it would seem like they didn't have anything to hide while we weren't entirely truthful about concession discounts and so on.
The parents were good people to have around sometimes though. One day we went to an Aboriginal Visitor Center and learned how to throw a boomerang. We went to a beach afterwards and played with the souvenir we had bought. Soon enough my brother came back to the van, without the boomerang, and demanded that our dad would go get it for him. He had thrown it into some bushes and he was so scared to go in there, only our dad could do the job. "There are probably some freakin snakes in there, no way I'd go there!" he explained, "You have to do it, dad!". Dad, who is the only member of our family without extreme phobia of snakes, did probably not feel very loved for this not so noble assignment, but did it anyway. Armed with a metal stick he found the 18 dollar souvenir, which I later broke while throwing it against the wind in Agnes Waters.
The camper van was freedom. I'd fall asleep watching the stars through the mosquito net, I'd feel completely relaxed while seeing clouds above split to the sound of She&Him and being rocked to sleep by the forward motion. It was a sweet vacation, which I had needed very much, and it was sort of good to be taken care of for a while. It was so inspirational to be away that I wrote a self-help book when I got back. I guess my target audience is self-laothing, pit of despair people who can't afford to go to Queensland. (P.S. The last part is meant to be ironic.)

video blog 2: st kilda

Yes, this is part of the city I now live in. And no, that is not a dangerous jellyfish. A shark of 1,4 meters were spot in the bay this day though, but nobody was hurt. It's a pretty sweet life in St Kilda and Melbourne!

hello new world.

The plane to Brussels was very tiny and full of businessmen with white hair. Before taking off the crew had to clear the wings from ice with some kind of pink liquid. It dripped and dropped all over the snow below, creating a bloody scene if the victim had had pink blood. As the sun rose the color palette outside my window felt very 80's; light blue, peach, pink, light green and yellow. After feeling the last of the winter cold I drifted to sleep and stayed there. I woke up in time to see a white dog run across a field and five seconds later we were in Brussels. I went straight to my connection flight. Many of the white businessmen followed. One of them, a middle aged, chubby man with back-slick cut the line before me to the check-in. I gave him a murderous look so full of hate I could have spit in his face. I was one of the last to get onboard and was even escorted to the plane by a French speaking flight attendant. I was seated next to a guy my age. I thought we had been in Holland all along, but he told me Brussels is in the Netherlands... or was it Belgium? I still can't tell the difference. Those three countries are the most confusing nations in the world. It's not that I'm bad at geography, it's just that they don't seem to get up their minds. One day Holland and Netherlands is the same country, then they are not and you're not even suppose to call it Holland. Then they speak Dutch and that's too much like Deutchland (Germany), but apparently not the same.
Anyhow, the scene turned pink again as we got in the air. The clouds looked like cotton candy. This trip went fast because I had company. For some reason we didn't introduce ourselves but I pictured in my head that his name was Stefan. At the end of the trip I found out I was right. Sometimes I think I have magical powers. In Abu Dhabi I saw Arabic men holding hands, I knew about this tradition but couldn't help myself from finding it utterly cute.
The last flight to Melbourne was all about How I Met Your Mother and then I just slept. I woke up in time for lunch, but in my time I wanted breakfast. My whole body reacted against the vegetarian lasagne, having this kind of food straight after waking up was wrong. As I looked through the window I saw Australia underneath. It looked golden brown with a bunch of sandy white holes in it. I imagined myself as a snake radar, detecting the most poisonous ones down there. I played with the thought of dropping highly accurate bombs on them, eliminating all dangerous and disgusting creatures, perhaps even turning a few species extinct. I wish.
The flight attendant told me to unplug my headphones as we prepared for landing. Sure, I said and got back to my playlist when she left. I Blame Coco featuring Robyn sang me to the ground, rebelliously. Dealing with the border police was a piece of cake. I thought it'd be harder to get into the country, but truth be told it was actually easier than entering Sweden. After a bus trip full of backpackers I finally reached my hostel. I got my room key from a 70's styled hippie guy with afro and a voice of a baby. I think he smoked a lot of weed. Then I left all my crap in the room and went for a walk in the area.
My first impressions of Melbourne felt like a mix of every place I've ever been to. The streets were wide and there were tall buildings like in New York, The architecture felt European but new, sort of like in Washington DC. The traffic runs on the wrong side of the road, just like in the UK. The streets were very clean and smooth, like in Sweden. And I swear, the food stores looks just like ICA in Sweden. The air felt dry but tropical and there were green trees, like in South America. The smell felt sweet and sort of spicy, like in Korea. And they have trams just like in Gothenburg. The city feels European, yet American, yet tropical. Kind of an awesome mix.
Next morning I woke up at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep. As I tried to drift I managed to write the beginning of a short story in my head. The shower was awesome and not full of spiders as I had prepared for. No funnel webs in Melbourne. After breakfast in front of Family Guy (a huge American guy laughed out load all the time) I went out in the city. The previous night I had got myself a massive shoe-shave on both feet, so now I limped my way to the nearest shoe store to get myself some flip flops. I crinched as I forced the word "thongs" out of my mouth, because that's what Aussies call flip flops. With aforementioned shoes I started to take the city. Halfway through it started to rain heavily, but it stopped as quickly as it had started. I found a Kikki K store, which is a Swedish stationary store. I was happy to speak some Swedish with a woman from Skåne and tried to flirt my way to a job. It didn't seem impossible. After lunch the jet-lag started to kick in and I got really dizzy. The place shook as if I was on a boat. But it only lasted for a few minutes. The rest of the day was filled with house hunting and more shoe-shave. I got back to the hostel in the afternoon feeling completely exhausted and fell asleep reading The Wild Things.

creepy australian wild things, part 4.

I guess Indiana Jones and I are in this together. I really fucking hate snakes. I can't even stand looking at a picture of one, so here's a picture of places to stay away from while travelling in Australia.

The Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus), also known as the Small Scaled Snake or Fierce Snake, is native to Australia and is the most venomous land snake on Earth. Its venom is 200-400 times more toxic than most rattlesnakes and 50 times as toxic as a cobra. The Inland Taipan has neurotoxic venom that could potentially kill an adult human in 45 minutes. There have been no documented human fatalities; bites were treated using antivenom. The Inland Taipan is dark tan, ranging from a rich, dark hue to a brownish olive-green, depending on season. It lives in holes and feed on small rodents such as mice and rats.

If there was ever a such a thing as a snake concentration camp, I'd be more than happy to vote yes for a political party that made it happen. Something tells me that the Green Party wouldn't do it... Damn!

creepy australian wild things, part 3.

Irukandji jellyfish are tiny and extremely venomous jellyfish which cause symptoms collectively known as Irukandji syndrome. These jellyfish are very small, with a bell about one centimeter wide and four tentacles, which range in length from just a few centimeters to up to 35 cm in length. Irukandji syndrome is produced by a very small amount of venom and includes severe pains at various parts of the body; typically excruciating muscle cramps in the arms and legs, severe pain in the back and kidneys, a burning sensation of the skin and face; headaches, nausea, restlessness, sweating, vomiting, high heart rate and blood pressure, and psychological phenomena (such as the feeling of impending death). The symptoms may last from hours to several days. Irukandji are usually found near the coast, attracted by the warmer water, but blooms have been seen as far as five kilometres offshore. When properly treated, a single sting is normally not fatal, but two people in Australia are believed to have died from Irukandji stings in 2002. Each year, varying numbers of people are stung - from only a few to more than 200 people.

creepy australian wild things, part 2.

Sydney funnel-web spider, Atrax robustus, is usually found within a 100 km radius of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. The spider can be very aggressive when provoked. They are attracted to water and hence are often found in swimming pools where they have fallen while wandering. These spiders typically deliver a full envenomation when they bite, often striking repeatedly, due to their aggressiveness and large chitinous cheliceral fangs. Chances of being bitten are high if encountered. There is at least one recorded case of a small child dying within 15 minutes of a bite from a Sydney funnel-web spider; that event occurred before the development of an antivenom. Since the antivenom was developed in 1981, there have been no recorded fatalities due to this species. It is also known that because of their large fangs, the victim has to pull the spider from the area of insertion. They will not detach if you shake that area.

creepy australian wild things, part 1.

The great white shark, Carcharodon carcharias, can be found in coastal surface waters in all major oceans. It can get bigger than 6 meters and weigh over 2000 kilos. The lifespan is 30 to over 100 years and it eats everything from fish, sea lions, dolphins and naive little tourists.